A Man of God Loves and Disciplines Himself
Welcome back to the Man of God series. In Lesson 2, we introduced an attitude that says, “I am third.” Do you remember what that means?
Some people think there’s nothing more important than loving themselves. Others have learned to hate themselves for various reasons. Still, others think they love themselves, but their actions suggest that they don’t really like themselves very much at all. This lesson covers why and how we should love ourselves.
Part 1: A Man of God Loves Himself
Have you ever been depressed? Of course you have. Do you ever dislike yourself… maybe even hate yourself? These thoughts have gone through everyone’s mind at some point… if even for just a few seconds. However, there should be serious concern when we are thinking negative thoughts about ourselves often and for long periods at a time. It suggests that we don’t love ourselves the way we should.
In lesson 2, we learned that God expects us to love others. Let’s read what Jesus said once again.
Jesus answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and most important command. And the second command is like the first: ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ All the law and the writings of the prophets depend on these two commands.” -Matthew 22:37-40
Notice that the Bible never tells us to love ourselves. It does, however, imply that loving ourselves is a natural thing to do. Why then do more and more people seem to hate themselves… sometimes, even to the point of suicide?
Our lack of self-love often comes from confusion about self-worth. We are surrounded by harmful messages that imply our worth comes from how we look, how much money we have, how many friends we have, how big or clean our homes are, how shiny our cars are, how far we’ve traveled, how many people liked our social media posts, how smart we are, how new our phones are, etc. For years, advertising has fed on our obsession to keep up with our neighbors; and now, with the role of social media, we feel more pressure than ever to live lives as perfect as everyone else’s lives seem to be. When we don’t, we start questioning, “What’s wrong with me?”
Imagine walking through an art gallery. You walk up to an interesting painting and see that it’s for sale for a million dollars. You say, “What? I would never pay that much for this or any painting.”
A man nearby says, “Really? Did you see how the colors blend so perfectly over here? Look at how interesting these lines are over here. Oh, and check out the shading around this part. Sure, there are some imperfections, but that just adds to its uniqueness. I’m telling you. There is no other painting exactly like this one.”
After listening and reconsidering, you say, “You’re right. This is a fantastic painting. I’d like to meet the painter. I still won’t pay a million dollars, but I’ll offer fifty thousand… maybe even one hundred thousand dollars.”
The man replies, “Well, sir, I am the painter. This is my creation. Therefore, I determine its value.”
God made you. He created you in His image. He keeps an eye on you and knows everything about you.
“Five sparrows are sold for only two pennies, and God does not forget any of them. But God even knows how many hairs you have on your head. Don’t be afraid. You are worth much more than many sparrows.” -Luke 12:6-7
It is God who determines our worth, and He loves you enough to send Jesus to die for your sins. That’s how much He values YOU. That’s how much He loves YOU. Therefore, it makes sense that you too should love yourself.
While we should love ourselves, let’s not love ourselves the way most non-Christians do. There is a popular belief that we should love ourselves “first” and "most.” However, let’s remember the attitude that Jesus modeled for us. The “I am third” attitude should affect WHAT WE THINK.
“Do not think you are better than you are. You must decide what you really are by the amount of faith God has given you.” - Romans 12:3
The “I am third” attitude should affect WHAT WE SAY.
“I hope I will never brag about things like that. The cross of our Lord Jesus Christ is my only reason for bragging.” -Galatians 6:14
That means the most important thing about me is my relationship with Jesus. We also read in lesson 2 that the “I am third” attitude should affect WHAT WE DO.
“When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves.” -Phillipians 2:3
While we should love God first and others second, we should also love the things about ourselves that glorify God and work on the areas that dishonor Him.
PART 1 - SUMMARY: A MAN OF GOD LOVES HIMSELF; not too much (first/most) or too little (worthless).
Part 2: A Man of God Disciplines Himself
When we love others, we want what’s best for them. Likewise, when we love ourselves, we should want what’s best for us. Unfortunately, we often chase after things we think we want instead of what we need. When we do this, we end up hurting ourselves. We think we love ourselves, but continuing to do the things that hurt us suggests otherwise.
Our goal should be to stop chasing things we think will make us happy. Instead, let’s follow the path God promises will lead to eternal joy with Him. First, we need to invite God every day to lead us in the way we should go.
“So pray that the Lord your God will tell us where we should go and what we should do.”- Jeremiah 42:3
“Lord, tell me your ways. Show me how to live. Guide me in your truth, and teach me, my God, my Savior. I trust you all day long.” -Psalm 25:4-5
When we consistently and sincerely seek out God’s guidance through prayer and by reading His word, He will show us the way.
“Ask, and God will give to you. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will open for you.” -Luke 11:9
Even though God is willing and ready to guide us, we often claim that we don’t know what God wants. Perhaps we do know, but we don’t want to accept it. We know where He's trying to lead us, but we don’t want to follow. When God tells us what to do, we have to be willing to listen.
“Everyone who hears my words and obeys them is like a wise man who built his house on rock. It rained hard, the floods came, and the winds blew and hit that house. But it did not fall, because it was built on rock. Everyone who hears my words and does not obey them is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. It rained hard, the floods came, and the winds blew and hit that house, and it fell with a big crash.” -Matthew 7:24-27
Even though following God is always the best thing for us, it takes great discipline to stay focused on following Him every day. What is discipline, and how does it apply to following Jesus?
The word “discipline” might remind you of when we were disciplined at home or at school as children. It referred to the things our parents or teachers did to make us follow the rules. Prison guards may discipline inmates by taking away their recreation time. The goal is always the same. Discipline helps us follow the rules for our own good. It trains us to “get in line” in order to be most successful within our situation.
Read Hebrews 12:4-11, and answer the question: Who does God discipline and why?
Imagine a teacher refusing to discipline a student or a father refusing to correct his son. A person who is never disciplined or straightened out will continue to get more and more lost until it becomes almost impossible to find his way. God loves us too much to let that happen to us. We should love ourselves too much for that too.
Verse 11 admits that even though discipline is good for us, it’s not fun. It’s especially difficult when some authority (whether it’s our parents, our boss, the law, or God) has to discipline us for mistakes we’ve already made. It would be much better to discipline ourselves before we find ourselves in trouble. That’s what the apostle Paul did.
Paul was one of the first, great Christian missionaries. He traveled many miles to tell people about Jesus. In doing so, he also suffered great challenges including shipwreck and prison. He was a very faithful person, but even Paul found it challenging to follow God completely.
I do not understand the things I do. I do not do what I want to do, and I do the things I hate. -Romans 7:15
So, Paul disciplined himself daily. He compared it to an athlete who prepares himself for competition. Notice that the athlete doesn’t wait until the coach makes him run laps, eat healthy, or put in extra practice. The athlete should discipline HIMSELF because HE is the one running the race.
“You know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize. So run to win! All those who compete in the games use self-control so they can win a crown. That crown is an earthly thing that lasts only a short time, but our crown will never be destroyed. So I do not run without a goal. I fight like a boxer who is hitting something—not just the air. I treat my body hard and make it my slave so that I myself will not be disqualified after I have preached to others.” -1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Paul said, “I treat my body hard and make it my slave.” What about you? Are you in control of your body, or is your body controlling you? The Bible says…
“If your right eye causes you to sin, take it out and throw it away. It is better to lose one part of your body than to have your whole body thrown into hell. If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” Matthew 5:29-30
These are examples of our bodies being out of control and needing discipline. Hopefully, it will never come to the point of causing ourselves physical harm. The main point is that we should do whatever it takes to remove the sin in our lives. That’s discipline.
While there are many areas in which we all need better discipline, let’s challenge ourselves in two specific ways during this next week.
First, let’s discipline what we say.
“People who think they are religious but say things they should not say are just fooling themselves. Their ‘religion’ is worth nothing.”- James 1:26
That includes…
Cursing
“We use our tongues to praise our Lord and Father, but then we curse people, whom God made like himself. Praises and curses come from the same mouth! My brothers and sisters, this should not happen.” - James 3:9-10
Telling Dirty Jokes
“There must be no evil talk among you, and you must not speak foolishly or tell evil jokes.” - Ephesians 5:4
Insulting People
“...If you say bad things to a brother or sister, you will be judged by the council. And if you call someone a fool, you will be in danger of the fire of hell.” -Matthew 5:22
Lying
“You must not tell lies about your neighbor.” -Exodus 20:16
“Do not lie to each other. You have left your old sinful life and the things you did before.” -Colossians 3:9
Gossiping
“A useless person causes trouble, and a gossip ruins friendships.” -Proverbs 16:28
Second, let’s discipline what we see. That means…
Don’t look at sexual things we shouldn’t.
“But I tell you that if anyone looks at a woman and wants to sin sexually with her, in his mind he has already done that sin with the woman.” -Matthew 5:28
“But I made an agreement with my eyes not to look with desire at a girl.” - Job 31:1
Don’t look at dark, violent, or evil things we shouldn’t.
“I will not look at anything wicked.”- Psalm 101:3
Again, the things we see and the things we say are just two areas in which all men of God need to discipline ourselves. However, even in these areas, it’s clear that we need God to help us remain strong. When we put bad habits away, they won’t stay away long unless we replace them with good habits.
“Brothers and sisters, think about the things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about the things that are true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected.” - Philippians 4:8
How can we replace the bad things we see and say with good things?
CONCLUSION
If we love ourselves properly, we will discipline ourselves in doing the things God says are best for us.